A couple part-taking in a water ritual.
| Photo Credit: Special Arrangement
On Tuesday evening, the Roja Muthiah Research Library, known for facilitating interesting discussions, hosted one by lawyer Supanki Kalanadan. The topic: a new wedding format involving Tamil indigenous practices.
When you think of a quintessential Tamil wedding, what comes to mind? Does it involve a male priest and a trial by the fire? Supanki, an Eelam Tamil refugee whose family fled to Canada, said that she looked into some Tamil texts and attempted to re-conceptualise a format that involves practices from the Sangam literature and Tolkappiyam. In her style, there will be no sacrificial fire. They will also involve the use of the parai and conch, two instruments that are not traditionally used in weddings because they are often associated with the Scheduled Caste community and are played during death rituals.
She added that Nature will be the central focus of worship with the five thinais or Tamil landscapes placed in the form of pictures on a stage including kurinji (mountains), mullai (forests), marutham (farmlands), neithal (coastal regions), and palai (dry lands). “One of the couples that got married were diasporic Eelam Tamil refugees who picked pictures from our land,” she said.
Taking an oath on the Thirukkural
| Photo Credit:
Special Arrangement
The wedding oath would be taken on the Thirukkural, one of the foremost classic Tamil language texts. “Besides pledging equality and taking care of one another, the oath is also one that commits to taking care of the environment and society,” she said.
Supanki said that when she was younger, her Tamil identity was a central point of conversation at her household as her mother always believed they would go back to their hometown. However, she hated wearing a bindi to school and carrying Tamil meals to lunch as she was bullied. It was through the arts — dance and drama — that she found her way back to this identity. She would like many other diasporic people to engage with their identities in a manner similar to hers. The wedding is one such way to connect with the roots, she feels.
Uma Kasturi, an assistant professor at a private college in Chennai who attended the talk, asked the speaker about why she chose to retain and continue the usage of the thali despite having a conversation about new practices. “When Periyar’s self-respect marriages and Buddhist weddings choose to do away with the thali, why should we continue to hold on to it? In the name of new marriages, are we bringing back oppressive traditions? Are we looking at it critically enough,” she asked. Supanki suggested that one view the thread as a security amulet. “Nobody in the diaspora would get married if there was no thali involved. It is still an ongoing conversation,” she said. Sai Sarvesh, a media student, also asked about the prevalence of caste and its role in marriages within the diasporic communities. Supanki said that it is not as prevalent in Canada as it is here.
Supanki is hoping for many people to chime in with ideas on reimagining this concept of a Tamil wedding. “This is a work in progress,” she said.
Published – August 06, 2025 04:37 pm IST
